Grammatically correct song lyrics #4

“Candy Shop”, 50 Cent feat. Olivia

I’ll break it down for you now, baby it is simple
If you
will be a nympho, I will be a nympho
In the hotel, or in the back of the rental
On the beach or in the park,
it is whatever you are into
I have the magic stick, I am the love doctor

 

Original lyrics sourced here.

A rule of thumb is to not use contractions. The second line needs appropriate parallel sentence structure, which is achieved by inserting “will” in the first instance. “Got” is an ugly, unnecessary word that can almost always be replaced by a better word, so I replaced this instance with “I have” in the last line.


“This Is Why I’m Hot”, Mims

This is why I am hot
How I
have to rap
I can sell a
million saying nothing on a track
I represent New York
I
have it on my back

 

Original lyrics sourced here.

Again, do not use contraction and slang, like in the first and third lines, i.e. “mill” is not an appropriate shortening of “million”. And again, “got” is an ugly word that can almost always be replaced, like in the second and last lines.


“Give Me Everything”, Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo, Afrojack, Nayer

Me, not working hard?
Yeah, right! Picture that with a Kodak
Or, better yet, go to Times Square
Take a picture of me with a Kodak
I took my life from negative to positive
I just want
you all to know that

 

Original lyrics sourced here.

I am not a fan of “ya’ll”, especially when it is used as a redundant redundancy, i.e. “all ya’ll”. Fortunately Pitbull hasn’t used this. A pronoun needs to start the fifth line, otherwise what or who took his life from negative to positive?


 

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